40 Weeks to Forever

The Mental Load of Motherhood

Episode Summary

Partners prepare for pregnancy, labour, and breastfeeding, but how do we prioritize the new baby while maintaining a healthy marriage? Parents often neglect their partners in favour of taking care of the baby, but that shouldn't be the case. Communication is vital if you want to maintain physical and emotional intimacy. In this episode of 40 Weeks to Forever, Dr. Tracy Dagleish shares the importance of dealing with the mental load of parenthood with your partner. Listen as Dr. Tracy builds on her 15 years of experience as a couples therapist and shares practical tips for healthy communication with your partner. Remember: your partnership should still be a priority alongside the changes that come with the new baby. If you want to discover how to enjoy the parenting experience while being the best partner, this episode is for you! Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode: 1) Learn about the importance of onboarding your partner in parenthood. 2) Find out how to deal with resentment in your relationship through healthy and intentional communication. 3) Discover practical tips to understand differences and effectively communicate your needs.

Episode Notes

Episode Highlights

[01:50] Parenthood and Spousal Relationship

[03:51] Respecting the Differences in Parenting Experience 

Dr. Tracy: "It's also important to recognize that when it comes to [parenthood], it's not going to be equal between you and your partner, but you need to find a way to find what feels fair."

[07:24] Dealing with Resentment 

[11:29] Effectively Communicating Your Needs 

[14:22] Eve Rodsky’s CPE Method

Dr. Tracy: "[If I] over-function, the only space that is left for my partner is to under-function. And if I step back, then that means he's going to learn and grow. So, I don't have to carry all of it. And on top of that, then he gets to build the relationship with our kids."

[20:04] Supporting Your Partner and Child’s Relationship

[25:01] Understanding Differences in POVs

[30:10] Tackling Postpartum Intimacy

[34:27] Making Time for Each Other

Dr. Tracy: "It's also about emotional intimacy. Can you and your partner make sure you spend 10 minutes on the couch at least once a week, talking about how grateful you are for each other?"

[40:39] Dr. Tracy's Advice for Parents-To-Be

About Dr. Tracy

Dr. Tracy Dagleish, C.Psych is a psychologist from Ottawa, Ontario, with over 15 years of experience working with women and couples. She is also the owner of Integrated Wellness: a mental health clinic that provides assessment and treatment services for various emotional, cognitive, or behavioural issues, as well as couples and sex therapy. 

She hosts 'I’m Not Your Shrink,' a podcast designed for women. Dr. Tracy also contributes to popular media sites, including Motherly HuffingtonPost, PsychCentral, Circle Around, and Bustle. 

If you want to know more about Dr. Tracy and her work, you can connect with her on her website, LinkedIn, or Instagram


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